


Unwanted and Unreal

by Rebel_Atar



Category: Les Misérables - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-27
Updated: 2016-06-27
Packaged: 2018-07-18 13:52:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,005
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7317808
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rebel_Atar/pseuds/Rebel_Atar
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Enjolras has a plan to stop Grantaire being disruptive at meetings. Things don't quite work out as he had planned.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Unwanted and Unreal

Enjolras was holding a pre-meeting meeting. This may sound redundant but the subject of the meeting was Grantaire and it was necessary to have this discussion before he arrived.

 

“Now,” He began, “I know this may not be a popular request but at this point I think it’s more than deserved.” He looked around to make sure they were all paying attention. “Grantaire has been very disruptive as of late and nothing makes him stop. He interrupts the meetings constantly and he is more than a nuisance at this point. I think we all know he’s only doing this for attention and as such I am instituting a policy of ignoring Grantaire at this next meeting. This policy applies to all of you.”

 

There was a lot of mumbling and general expressions of displeasure at this. No one in the group feeling quite comfortable with the idea.

 

“I know it seems a little extreme, and admittedly a little childish. However, it is only a temporary measure until Grantaire can learn that his behaviour at our meetings is not only unacceptable but will no longer be tolerated.”

 

Joly and Bossuet shared a look before Joly spoke up. “With all due respect Enjolras this is a very bad idea. We both know Grantaire very well and this is not going to turn out the way you think it is. This will not work Enjolras and I really don’t want to treat R like this, he might be a little disruptive but we don’t think he deserves this.”

 

Enjolras waving a hand, dismissing Joly’s concerns. “I understand that you are his friends and that you are quite protective of him but I really feel that we have gotten to the point where drastic action is necessary.”

 

“Enjolras-”

  
“No. Joly. As displeased with my decision as you are I still expect both you and Bossuet to go along with it. We must present a united front.”

 

Joly slouched back down in his chair, dejected. Bossuet wrapped an arm around him in an attempt at comfort, both of them obviously unhappy at the decision. They knew this would impact badly on Grantaire but also knew that Enjolras wasn’t about to change his mind. 

 

Once the real meeting started up in earnest Grantaire drifted in and ordered himself a drink. After getting through around half of it and getting comfortable and relaxed he started trying to engage the other’s in conversation. He received no response. He tried getting the attention of each of them in turn, calling them over. When that didn’t work he went to them, talking to them and leaning on them, but there was nothing. No reaction. It didn’t even cross his mind to try and interrupt Enjolras’ speech today. His friends were to him more important than their cause and their lack of response was disturbing to him. It was like he wasn’t there. 

Throughout all of this his friends helped keep each other in check. Courfeyrac and Combeferre making sure Joly didn’t break, Bossuet being their to comfort him even though he was seething with anger. Bahorel watched over Jehan who was getting progressively more upset the more desperately Grantaire tried to get a response. 

 

Eventually Grantaire curled up in a chair at his corner table. He didn’t touch his drink and spent the rest of the meeting with his arms wrapped around himself, staring at the table. Was he even real.

 

Enjolras brought the meeting to a close, “Thank you for your input everyone today was very productive. It was fantastic to have such a highly successful meeting for a change.”

 

That was it for Grantaire, that was all he could take. They were better off without him, better off that he wasn’t real, that his existence was so insignificant they could not even detect his presence. They didn’t need him, didn’t want him. With a hitched breath he ran from the Musain. His things lay abandoned. 

 

Jehan started to cry softly, leaning on Bahorel for support as the boxer stroked their hair. Joly started to panic and Bossuet tried calming him down with little success.

 

Enjolras rolled his eyes at their antics. “Alright, everyone calm down. We knew he’d react to it somehow.  Grantaire will be fine. I really don’t see why you’re all making such a big deal out of this. He’ll get over it.” 

 

Joly stiffened where he sat for a moment before standing up, face livid. Bossuet didn’t even make an attempt to stop him. He marched over to Enjolras and without even stopping punched him hard enough in the face to knock him down. Enjolras held a hand to his face, lip split and bleeding a little and looked up at Joly in shock.

 

“Grantaire will not be  _ fine _ . He will not  _ get over it. _ Do you have any idea what you’ve done? What you’ve made us all do?” Joly didn’t care if he was shouting. Enjolras may have believed Grantaire deserved to be ignored but Joly knew that Enjolras deserved this. 

 

“Grantaire has had  _ nothing  _ but negative attention and being ignored for his entire life. Whether it was because he wasn’t good enough or what his family wanted him to be, or whether they just thought his existence was an abomination and believe me they have used that exact word. Grantaire is completely touch starved which is why he has what you call the obnoxious behaviour of hugging his friends and draping himself across people. He doesn’t feel real, Enjolras, he doesn’t feel like he exists unless he is interacting with or touching people because he feels that this is the only way he impacts the world. Because we give him what his family never did and you made us take that away from him.” Joly finished his tirade and spun around rushing out after Grantaire. 

Bossuet walked over and looked down at where Enjolras now sat on the floor. “We tried to tell him but you just...you weren’t interested in listening.” He sighed, “You should know that if this has done any permanent damage to R as a person, Joly will never forgive you. And neither will I.”

 

He gathered up Joly and Grantaire’s things that had been left behind before heading out after them.

 

Enjolras sat for a moment in shock, blood trickling down his chin. He didn’t understand. Grantaire hadn’t had a hard life. He was cynical and disruptive but he was happy. He was always smiling and laughing loudly with people. He was fine. Surely.

 

He pulled himself up from the floor and followed them out. Combeferre came too. He was worried Enjolras might do something to make matters worse. They caught up with Joly and Bossuet fairly quickly. They had stopped at the entrance to an alleyway not far from the Musain.

 

Enjolras peered over Joly’s shoulder and caught sight of Grantaire. He was curled up, knees to chest, sobbing his heart out having, muttering about vanishing, about not being real. Enjolras took a half step back. He honestly hadn’t thought that his actions would have brought about a full blown existential crisis in the artist.

 

Joly crouched down next to Grantaire and spoke softly to him. Whispered his name in gentle tones and carefully laid a hand on his shoulder. Grantaire's head snapped up and he stared wide eyed at Joly as if he wasn’t sure his friend was real. 

 

“It’s alright Grantaire, I’m here, I’m real. I’m not going anywhere.” 

 

Grantaire threw himself at Joly, clinging onto him tightly. He was real, Joly was real. He had to be he was solid and he was here and he was real. Grantaire sobbed in his shoulder, shaking from head to toe. “I’m sorry, Joly I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. Please don’t leave me again. Please. Whatever I did I promise I won’t do it again. I’m so fucking sorry please don’t go. Please please stay. Please don’t leave me please Joly please. I’ll be good I promise.”

 

Joly looked up at Enjolras, glaring, with tears running down his own face. The blond looked shell shocked. Bossuet carefully placed their things on the ground before kneeling down and pulling Grantaire and Joly into his arms. If anything this just made Grantaire cry harder and clung onto to Bossuet as well. 

 

Enjolras felt unwanted. An intruder on this moment. He turned and walked slowly back to the Musain, still in shock. Once back he sat down at a table.

 

“I had no idea ‘Ferre, none.”

 

He heard a sniffle and looked up at Combeferre who seemed to be trying desperately hard not to cry. He was instantly worried, had he hurt his best friend as well.

 

“‘Ferre, what is it, what’s wrong?”

 

“I should have known.”

 

“What?”

 

“Grantaire. I should have known he would react like this. Or, more accurately I should have realised that there was a reason behind his behaviour. Attention seeking behaviour is rarely without a deep underlying cause. I’m a psychology student Enj, I should have realised that.”His voice was strained, his features wrought with guilt.

 

“No, no, you couldn’t have know and surely it’s not always like this. Courfeyrac pulls the same stunts and Bahorel and they’re fine, you couldn’t have known.”

 

“No, Enjolras I should have realised. Grantaire’s behaviour is different and he has obvious coping mechanisms and he’s so, so close to Joly and Bossuet and there were so many signs. I just...I just didn’t think about it. I didn’t want to. I didn’t want to know. I just...I just wanted a quiet meeting for once I can’t believe I ignored my instincts for this.” He looked up at Enjolras, horrified. “I’m supposed to be studying this sort of thing. How can I be a good psychiatrist if I can’t even notice when one of our group is hurting this badly.” He shook his head. “Enjolras...we’re supposed to be his  _ friends _ . I know that isn’t how all of us really think of him but that’s what he’s always thought of us he’s never been quiet about it. He calls us his friends and this is what we did to him.”

 

“Stop. Ferre, please. Stop. It’s….it’s not your fault. It’s mine.” He hung his head, not able to look at his best friend, at any of their friends. “I forced everyone into this. Joly tried to stop me but I-”

 

“That’s right.” Said Jehan. They had stalked over while Combeferre had been talking and now looked down at Enjolras visibly shaking with suppressed rage. “I,” They took a deep breath, “I am incredibly angry, with both of you. I knew, I  _ knew _ that this was only going to hurt Grantaire but you just weren’t willing to listen were you.” They rounded on Combeferre, “And as for you. You’re right you should have noticed. If I noticed and I’m not even looking for this sort of thing you of all people should have realised. I am beyond disappointed in the both of you.” They ran a hand through their hair before shaking their head and turning to walk back to their seat. “Perhaps you’ll be more willing to listen in future.”

 

Enjolras buried his face in his hands, he couldn’t believe how he’d acted. Combeferre’s phone buzzed and he took it out to have a look at it. “It’s a text from Bossuet.”

 

“What did he say, what’s happening?”

 

“He and Joly are taking Grantaire home for the night, they’re not coming back afterwards.”

 

Enjolras nodded in acceptance, he wouldn’t have asked them to return anyway. He certainly didn’t deserve their company right now.

  
  


A few streets away Joly and Bossuet set about piling Grantaire’s bed high with quilts and pillows and blankets. He was so tactile and they wanted to give him all the comfort they could. Once the artist was settled they both curled around him in the makeshift nest they had built. Helping their friend in the best way they knew and prayed that this wouldn’t set him back too far.


End file.
